I see you at your window. I see you behind the memes and posts flooded with hearts. I see you scoffing the kids’ easter eggs after they go to bed. I get it. We have been on strict lockdown for a couple of weeks. We cannot drive anywhere except to get essential supplies and we can’t meet up with anyone outside of our ‘bubble’, or household. There is nowhere to hide.
But we can walk, and oh, how we walk.
I see that you have gone quiet for a while as we all try to adjust to this new normal, as we deal with patchy internet and competing demands for attention. We are contorting ourselves into new work spaces that give us aches and pains. Perhaps our bosses expect us to be reachable all the time now. We are meeting and teaching others via video conferencing. This is stretching us in ways we are not used to.
I see you putting on a brave face. We’re dealing with anxiety but are told to limit exposure to the news for the kids. Our brains are addled, flooded with the stress hormone cortisol and we can’t concentrate. We are trying to get food supplies and pharmacy medicines in new ways. We may have less income. We have a partner to share the load with or not. We are balancing the mental needs of the family and it’s A LOT.
As a freelance writer, work doesn’t stop in the school holidays, weekends or public holidays.
I’m used to working when the rest of the family are outside. I get the feelings of guilt when you take time for yourself instead of finishing that project, the guilt when the house is messy. I know what it’s like to read the same sentence fifty times because of tiny interruptions. I understand you’ve already stopped 3 arguments before your 9am coffee.
Schools have been closed here since 23rd March. We were given a few online resources and told that the holidays were starting early. But it quickly became apparent that a few online maths problems weren’t going to cut it at our house. Kids need to be challenged in different ways. I’ve learnt that…
Technology is a good thing! The kids can play games with their friends online. We can all video chat with friends to see some faces from outside our bubble. And the free learning resources for kids further down the page mean we can travel to places we may never be able to go in the real world.
I’ve learnt that I need to be flexible. If the kids do 10 minutes of writing and then run outside and play happily, that is fine. Playing in the backyard teaches creativity and co-operation. Yesterday, we ended up watching videos of squids and octopuses for three hours because that’s what grabbed our attention. We will all have good days and bad days and they won’t always be synchronised. Some days are for Disney+ movies, couches and cuddles.
Communication is key. Let your other half know if you have a deadline coming up. Let your boss or client know if you have a sick child. Keep talking to your kids, whether they are worried about the virus or annoyed with their sibling. Let your ‘bubble’ know if you need an hour for a bath or just to be alone.
A little goes a long way. If I spend ten minutes focused on the kids, they are often good for half an hour. Each child also needs one on one time, especially at the moment. They love it if I spend half an hour walking with one child or doing art with another.
I’m trying to be kind to myself. I haven’t created any stories but I’ve created paper dolls. I’ve been less productive with writing but more productive with snuggles and volleyball with my eldest. I’ve been stretching deadlines on articles but stretching my muscles with Cosmic Kids Yoga.
I see you, working parents, and I know you’re doing your best.
Some thoughts from fellow working parents:
Tabatha Wood
Past English and Drama teacher. Homeschooling mum of almost 14 years. Author of three books aimed at teachers and those who work in education, Tabatha says:
What we are doing right now is not homeschooling. Homeschooling is a choice and a lifestyle, where parents have the time to consider how they want to approach their children’s education, and what they want to include. I have homeschooled my two children for almost 14 years, and worked in formal secondary education as an English and Drama teacher before that. Homeschooling looks nothing like actual schooling. For me, making a schedule and creating order where there is none, is essential, for everyone’s sanity. Understanding HOW your child learns is more important than WHAT they learn, and you will find that (older children especially) can get through an entire day’s work in three hours, easily. We divide our schooling days into clear sections, and I spend time in the mornings from 9 – 1 actually teaching them, and after lunch, they work autonomously on their own projects. This also means I have designated writing time, and everyone is clear about their expectations. The goal is not to make them stay on target, but to give them routines as much as variety, and one-on-one time as necessary. And don’t forget, your children are always learning, even when you might not think they are. Minecraft, Roblox, TED Talks, and computer games like Little Big Planet and Portal are all perfectly valid ways for your kids to spend their time.
Ingrid Grenar
https://www.creativesidekicking.com/
Freelance writer and marketer, Ingrid says:
I’m not homeschooling as I have a three year old (with zero attention span) and seven month old whose biggest goal in life is to grab the nearest electrical wire. However, I am working within this chaos. How is it going? Not great. It’s pretty stressful at times but the best thing we’ve learnt is not to try and both work at the same time as this is just not going to happen. As a natural organiser, I’ve drawn up a schedule for all of us that allows both myself and my husband blocks of two hours to work as well as a half-hour each a day of alone time to do whatever we want – watch a tv show, go for walk, have a bath or just lock yourself in a dark room. So far so good, this system is starting to find a rhythm and we’re adjusting slowly. The biggest tip I could offer would be to let things go during lockdown – the sink can fill up, the house can get messy and your outfits need only fulfil the most basic of clothing criteria. Stay well, be kind and stay home all!
Ays Randrup Cunanan
http://www.notesfromourcorner.com
Full-time project coordinator and mom, Ays says:
What I’ve learned is that homeschooling and working from home is difficult, so I salute parents who do this as part of their normal lives. It takes planning, creativity and definitely a lot of patience. My advice is to establish some sort of routine for you, your partner and children, so that everyone knows what to expect everyday. It could be as simple as going out for a walk by mid-morning, or watering the plants in the afternoon. If these activities are not possible due to the weather, just have a backup activity, such as coloring pictures, baking, or playing with Lego blocks.
Dan R Morris
http://bloggingconcentrated.com
Dad and stepdad of 11, homeschool dad, public school dad, substitute teacher, working from home since 2015, Dan says:
The first goal should be to let the pressure go. Your kids are going to be fine no matter how you critique yourself. Secondly, let the kids play, play computers, whatever they want to do while you’re working – during your critical period. Typically they can play without restrictions for long periods.
But then when you stop working, to make lunch for example, include the kids. We read “scruples questions” at dinner. I have the kids help make the recipes, read them, measure, etc. When I mail stuff I have them write postcards to friends. Have them measure and help you in the garden. Have them help you make the grocery list and budget.
When you’re not working – get double value out of all the stuff you are going to do anyway.
Psychological Impact for Kids
This article explains some of the ways we can help children cope with anxiety. I also enjoyed this video chat between our Prime Minister and psychologist Nigel Latta about ways of being kind to our children and ourselves during the coronavirus pandemic.
Free Physical Activity Resources
Kids Bop daily dance workout videos has songs the kids will love.
For any age, Les Mills have a range of free workouts available.
You’ll love these workouts with an enthusiastic personal trainer in the PE with Joe videos.
Cosmic Kids yoga makes yoga fun, with fantastic journeys while practising poses.
Fun Inside Ideas for Kids During Lockdown
Learn magic tricks or put on a show, make a stop motion video animation with Lego. Paint or draw, make a comic strip. Make up a dance.
Build a fort or make a marble run from boxes. Kids love treasure hunts and obstacle courses, plan one out for them or let them time themselves. Have a picnic in the lounge. Play card games, board games or make your own board game.
Free Learning Resources for Kids During Lockdown
Usborne Publishing have lists of online resources for different ages of children, including creative writing starters and science experiments.
Sign up for the Ted Ed daily newsletters for short animated videos delivered to your inbox each day. These cater for different ages of children, with themes like ‘What happens to my body when I get sick?’ , ‘Which is stronger: glue or tape?’ and ‘A brief history of dogs’. We have all really enjoyed these.
Children’s brains are optimised for language learning. This is the perfect time to get into Duolingo which is free and has a huge variety of languages or Rosetta Stone which is a paid option.
Take a virtual tour of famous places like the Egyptian pyramids, the Paris catacombs or the sights of Greece.
Learn about the history of the world with a virtual tour of the Museum of Natural History . You can pan around and zoom in on exhibits from ancient Egypt to the science of DNA to ocean mammals to Mali’s mud houses.
The Smithsonian has games and simulations for free that teach kids about science. We liked the one about nutrition around the world and the disaster preparation one.
Listen to a free David Walliams story via Audiobook each day. Sesame Street has offered hundreds of free ebooks that you can download.
Get up close to the creatures at the zoos and aquariums with live webcams. Watch the butterflies at San Diego Zoo or the very speedy porcupines at our very own Orana Park.
Learn free skills for the digital future with basic programming through Scratch.
For arty kids, follow the series of videos by Mo Willems, children’s book writer and animator. Lunch Doodles teaches kids to draw basic pictures.
Take the opportunity to teach kids about music theory with these free online lessons. The lessons use audio and pictures and you can go at your own pace.
Are schools open where you are? Friends in NZ, how are you finding the lockdown?